From: travel@xxx.org
Name: Tim Hxxxxxx
I see my wife disappearing into a black cavernous hole of anger one minute and sweet brightly lit lady who I love very much the next.
How the hell do I keep the light on?
Tim Hxxxxxx
OK God, why are you doing this to me?
August 28, 2010 by 1 Comment
—–Original Message—–
From: Eric Hxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, 21 November 2009 2:35 AM
To: Peter and Linda Butler
Subject: Menopause Input
I desperately need to read more about this. I survived 15 years with a bipolar ex and now I run into this! Like you said, “OK God, why are you doing this to me?”
Eric Hxxxxxx
HELP!!!! My wife is 49 and despite her denial…
August 26, 2010 by 2 Comments
HELP!!!! My wife is 49 and despite her denial (to me but not others) is showing all the signs of menopause.
She went from loving passionate partner to don’t touch me, I don’t know you any more, I am not interested in what you think.
The mood swings are hard to cope with one moment I have my old partner back the next I am with this stranger.
The other night she said she was hot so opened all the bedroom windows, it was blowing a gale outside and the curtans were just about horizontal. I suggested we might compromise only to be told I was selfish. I ended up sleeping on the couch so I did not freeze to death. As for intimacy of any kind forget it.
I have read everything I can to better understand the issues and when I told her she said I was obsessive,not thank you for caring. In someways it’s a bit like having another teenager in the house but more intense.
I was surprised at the lack of internet sites to assist men understand menapause from a man’s perspective, either educational or lighthearted. Yours is the only one I have found.
I note you are putting an E book together but If you are still developing the site maybe an online support group from men would also be a great help. It would also provide lots of material for your book. I also couldn’t find any info from a womans perspective,about relationship issues there is lots about symptoms but not a personal perspective from a woman.
This is doing my head in I think its time for the mens shed therapy session.lol
davidb
… so little written… from the male’s point of view.
August 15, 2010 by Leave a Comment
From: william.sxxxxx@snet.net
Name: William Sxxxxx
Comments: This is a greatly needed area of research. Especially the part about men understanding and dealing with menopause.
There is so little written on the subject from the male’s point of view. Good luck.
William Sxxxxx
… the mood swings are more frequent as are the hot spells…
August 15, 2010 by 1 Comment
From: PeteBxxxxxx@aol.com
Name: Pete Bxxxxx
Comments: I am not sure if you are looking for input from the male side but here is my take.
My wife and I have been together for 22 years. Some good some not so good but we’ve managed to weather the storm. SO FAR. To be 100% honest, there was a time I wasn’t sure I loved my wife and I wandered for lack of a better term. We got through it. I was just stupid and selfish.
To her credit she took me back and we became stronger for it. For a short while. My wife is going to be 46 on her next birthday. About 6 months ago I noticed a small but noticable change in my wife. Her moods, she complained about her period being strange in it’s occurances and the inevitable hot flashes. Used to be that she was cold all the time.
I’d be hot but she would be cold. Now it doesn’t matter. I will be buried under the covers and she has them off asking to turn down the heat, turn on the fan, telling me to get away from her because I’m too hot. She used to call me the human electric blanket cause she could snuggle up to me and get warm.
I guess snuggling is out now. 
. Anyway, the mood swings are more frequent as are the hot spells.
Out of the blue this past Tuesday she told me that she doesn’t love me anymore and that she has let go. Floored me, I’ve been a wreck all week. I’ve known in the back of my mind that it could be “the change” and even mentioned it to her. Not a good idea. She flipped out, “how dare you she says”.
Then the next morning a hug and a kiss before I left for work but no words. Last night she was crying and I asked her why. She says it is hard to let go of someone. This morning, another hug and kiss before work. This is turning into a very confusing time for me. I am madly and deeply in love with my wife. I want to help but I feel that my help must be covert and very behind the scenes. I am ordering a book by a gentleman named Paul Selinger called Men Surviving Menopause with the Woman They Love. It is written by a man who went through what I am starting to see. Only I think his ended up in divorce. Very sad.
We have two daughters aged 8 and 10. They are my life. I tuck them in at night and get them up in the mornings to help get them ready for school. I think, no I know that my wife loves me but I’m afraid. Afraid of irrationality and maybe some sort of rash decision based on emotion instead of logic. I need help getting through this but more importantly helping her get through this.
Since I’ve never done this I feel like I am in total suspended animation. Don’t know what she is going to say or do from one moment to the next. I know that some women breeze through it and some women have the toughest time with it. I’ve always sort of known that she would struggle with it, I just didn’t know how much.
I’m prepared to see this through to the end, hopefully a happy end. I don’t want my family to suffer from this and I need any help I can get from people, books or general education.
That is my story. HELP!!!
Regards,
Pete Bxxxxx